Help Me Forget
by alwaysbluex
Summary: Dan/Blair. Flashbacks of Chuck/Blair. Blair spends a night in Brooklyn re-living old memories, and learning to forget. Even if it's only for one night. read&review please!
1. Help Me Forget

-1**Author : Laura (alwaysbluex/lawrahxxx)**

**Summary : One night in Brooklyn forces Blair to relive old memories, and learn to forget, even if it's only for one night.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own gossip girl.**

**Rating: light NC-17/R. Sexual themes, and drugs.**

**Pairings: Dan/Blair, Chuck/Blair flashbacks.**

**A/N: I like the idea of Dan/Blair more and more. My mom and friend think I'm crazy for it. Not even lying, we fight about it. Lol how sad! Warning you now, It's kind of dark and gloomy. **

**One-shot for now. Could be another installment if you guys like it!**

**Review/Comment, let me know what you think. **

**Ps. Italics = flashbacks.**

_  
There's a smell of stale fear that's reeking from our skins.  
The drinking never stops because the drinks absolve our sins  
We sit and grow our roots into the floor  
But what are we waiting for?  
So give me something to believe  
Cause I am living just to breathe  
And I need something more  
To keep on breathing for  
So give me something to believe  
Something's always coming you can hear it in the ground  
It swells into the air  
With the rising  
Rising sound  
And never comes but shakes the boards and rattles all the doors  
What are we waiting for  
I am hiding from some beast  
But the beast was always here  
Watching without eyes  
Because the beast is just my fear  
That I am just nothing  
Now its just what I've become  
What am I waiting for  
Its already done_

**Believe - The Bravery.**

Blair did try to knock before entering his room. She really did. Maybe her trembling hands weren't loud enough. Or maybe she knew exactly what she was about to see, and had to get it over with before she exploded with anticipation. There he was, drugs on the table, cocaine, and pills, scattered like candy. Two different women, laying completely naked on his bed. Then there was Chuck, stumbling out of the bathroom, thick purple curves under his eyes, and only dressed in a pair of boxers. That were a step away from falling completely off of him.

He saw her standing by the door, saw her legs beginning to give out beneath her. But he also knew she had been fully expecting it, but to see it with her own eyes was even harder than imagining it. He looked her down, not daring to connect with her eyes, and then stumbled back over to the bed. Not caring what else she saw, because now it couldn't be taken back. The images would always be burned into her brain forever. They both knew that.

Her eyes immediately hit the floor, as she stumbled away from the room. Tears brimming her eyes, her head feeling more heavy by the second. She held onto the elevator as it went down, making her slightly nauseous. Her right hand reached her face quickly as she swatted the falling tears away. They dripped from her hand, onto the soft floor of the elevator. She wouldn't cry over him, and she wouldn't try and save him anymore. She had tried too many times before.

_Blair and Nate both stood side by side, hips almost touching, hands at each others sides. It wasn't romantic, it was out of comfort. They were both scared for their best friend who was standing in front of them. Eyes glued on the casket in front of all of them. They both knew he was drunk, and possibly stoned. That was the only way he would make it here at all. They couldn't understand his immense grief. Sure Bart was his father, but did he ever really give him the time of day?_

_"Nate, I'm scared." Whispered Blair quietly, knowing fully well Chuck wasn't listening anyways. She hadn't admitted that to anyone yet, and it felt good to finally say it out loud. They were all scared, about what was to come. Chuck had been quite self destructive before, and they weren't sure how bad it was going to become in the near future._

_"I know Blair." Nate said quietly, clutching her hand tightly._

_Blair shook her head softly. "I don't know what to do anymore. He won't talk to me at all." _

_Nate looked at his former girlfriend. Her eyes red from tears, her face pale, and worry written across her whole body. She really loved Chuck, and to see him falling like this, so fast was hurting her more than even he could imagine. _

_"I'll try to talk to him, again." he added quietly, still holding onto Blair's hand. Trying to reassure her that they could help him, keep him from falling._

…

Blair walked down the street, shivering underneath her thin, but fashionable winter coat. Snow had started to fall, make her once beautiful, and styled hair to become wet and matted. Her eyes were probably puffy, and her nose bright red. But she didn't care, because she wasn't exactly sure where she was, and that's how she wanted it.

"Blair..?" a voice came from behind her.

She cringed, praying it wasn't someone she knew. Then she mentally kicked herself, of course it was someone she knew, this person had said her name out loud.

She turned around and let out a breath she didn't know she was holding inside.

"Humphrey." she mumbled, wiping the salty water from her face.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly. He knew she wasn't okay. The death of Bart Bass had seemed to affect a lot of people. Especially Blair. She was doing everything in her power to help Chuck, but he just kept pushing her away.

"No." She admitted silently, she couldn't keep her emotions in check like before.

"How about you go see Serena?" Dan offered, not really wanting to be around Blair. He disliked her immensely and her gaze made him feel uncomfortable.

"I'd rather be alone." Blair said, turning around and walking away from him without so much as a goodbye.

Dan huffed. He couldn't just leave her alone now. She looked upset, and obviously lost. So he decided to guide her in the right direction, and then send her on her way.

"Blair." Dan yelled, running after her. She stopped, but didn't bother turning around.

Dan touched her shoulder lightly, and she cringed. "Come to my house, get warmed up, and calm down. After that I'll gladly send you on your way."

Blair turned to face him. "Your house?"

"Well, yes. We are in Brooklyn." he replied, knowing how she would react.

Blair scoffed. How did she end up in Brooklyn?

…

Blair sat on the lumpy couch. Old, yet oddly comfortable blanket draped around her. Nice warm cup of coffee in her shaky hands. Though she clutched it as tightly as possible, fearing she might spill it. Dan sat on the floor, sifting through old records to put on. Music always made him feel more at ease, maybe it would help Blair.

He looked up to see her starring straight ahead. Her eyes still glassy and red, and her hands still shaking even though she looked considerably warm. Dan went back to his records after a few moments of studying her. He always looked at the small details of things. That's where he found most of his answers.

"Where's Jenny?" Blair asked absently, feeling awkward in the silent room.

Dan looked up, surprised she was actually talking. "Oh, she's with my mom, in Hudson. I was going to go, but I thought a few days alone would be nice, and-"

"Humphrey." Blair interrupted.

Dan narrowed his eyes. "Yes?"

"Stop rambling." she retorted.

…

Once Blair drifted in to a restless sleep on the couch, which Dan had fully expected he retreated back to his room, and left the door open slightly incase she ended up waking up and not knowing her surroundings. He didn't want her to be alone, but he didn't really want to be around her either. They both got on each others nerves way too quickly.

He walked into his room, grabbed his laptop off the desk, and quickly snuggled under his football sheets, Cedric sat right beside him. He opened a blank file, and titled it Blair. He began furiously typing, not realizing he was shaping quite the story.

…

She was walking in an unknown but oddly familiar place, bare foot. The room was filled with shattered glass and white powder. The tiny sharp pieces of glass beneath her feet were sinking in deep, causing bits of blood to drip out from her torn skin. She saw the blood, but couldn't feel the pain. She examined the room, noticing it had once been a fully mirrored room. But everything was now smashed to pieces.

Light shone from underneath closed doors. One in particularly shone brighter than the others, and her eyes were immediately drawn to it. She walked towards the door, the pain in her feet becoming more painful then before. By the time she reached the door she was up to her ankles in broken glass. Sharp pieces stuck inside her. But the door was all she cared about. Having a dull ache in her head that was commanding her to open it.

She opened it, and saw a man lying there. Wrists slit, and needles sticking from the veins of his arm. The man's face was covered, as he was laying face down. Quickly she bent down, turning over the body and saw Chuck's face, she saw salty tears coming from his eyes, and blood dripping from his mouth.

Her lungs burned as she screamed uncontrollably, but nothing was coming out.

…

Dan was woken up by a blood curdling scream coming from the other room. He shifted up quickly, immediately trying to remember if he was alone, or someone was in his house.

"Blair." he said quietly to himself, before darting out of bed.

She was sobbing uncontrollably on the couch, shaking and sputtering out Chuck's name. The sight of her even scared him. He made his way over to her slowly, not wanting to scare her even more.

"Blair?" he questioned softly, touching her arm.

She quickly clung to his arms, sobbing into his t-shirt. "Chuck's dead, he's dead." she mumbled into a mixture of her hair and his shirt.

"He's dead, he's dead." she repeated, holding onto to Dan for dear life.

Dan didn't know if Chuck was dead or not, he hadn't seen him since the funeral when he made him leave for no reason. But he honestly doubted he was dead, and just figured she had a night mare.

"No, Blair's he's not. You just had a bad dream." he murmured softly, petting her hair. Trying everything he could to comfort her.

Blair sobbing subsided a bit, but she still clung onto Dan. "Are you sure?" she whispered softly. She couldn't tell the difference between dream's and reality anymore.

…

_His hand protectively draped over her as he continued kissing her passionately. He could tell she was trembling, but only because she wanted this more than ever. There they were, in the back of the limo, repeating history. History always repeats itself in some way or another. He drove this out of his thoughts quickly. The bad out-weighed the good in his and Blair's relationship. _

_She moaned into his mouth, whispering his name in the back of her throat as he entered her. It had been a long time, but the wait was always worth it with Blair. The way she looked at him, made his insides melt. Though he would never admit that. Wasn't that only supposed to happen to girls? He thought way to much when he was with her. _

_"Are you sure?" Blair whispered, after they were finished, for now._

_Chuck thought for a moment. "Sure of what?" _

_"That you, love me." Blair said timidly, turning away from his gaze._

_"Blair, I meant what I said tonight. " he said, touching her face softly._

_Blair nodded. "So did I." _

_Tonight had been the winter dance. They had both agreed to find the perfect date for each other, because they weren't settling for almost. They wanted all or nothing in their relationship. Only they wound up spending the night together, with those three words getting involved. Neither cared about the days ahead. All they had was tonight._

…

She was curled in his lap, her hands like ice, and silent tears still coming from her eyes. Dan never thought he would see the day Blair Waldorf had curled up next to him, covered in his foot ball sheets, and holding onto Cedric for comfort. He still couldn't believe it, even seeing it with his own eyes.

Dan touched her arm softly, and surprisingly she didn't flinch away. "Are you okay now Blair?"

Blair shook her head, still clutching to Cedric. "But I'm a bit better."

Dan nodded, and looked away.

"Thank you." she said quietly.

"You're welcome." he returned, equally as quiet.

After a few minutes of silence, Dan decided to break it, by asking a question she might not want to answer. "What happened?"

"Be more specific Humphrey." she looked up at him and smirked. "Usually you are."

He smiled. "In your dream." He saw her face fall and immediately regretted asking the question. "I'm sorry, it's not my business."

Blair sighed and looked away. "I saw Chuck." she started, being silent for what seemed forever.

"Lying on the floor. There was blood, … everywhere. Needles sticking out from his arms." she said, her voice trembling.

"It was only a dream thought, right?" Dan asked. "I'm sure Chuck's fine."

Blair shook her head. "He hasn't been fine for awhile."

…

_Chuck woke up to his phone vibrating on the table beside his bed. He smiled as he looked down to see Blair resting on his chest, a smile clearly seen across her swollen and flushed lips. The warm breath from her mouth warming his neck. Slowly he rubbed his eyes, and grabbed the phone. The number was unknown, and curiosity got the best of him._

_"Hello?" Chuck said quietly, trying not to wake Blair._

_"Hello, Chuck Bass? This is Dr. Freedman. This was the first number on Bart Bass's speed dial. Are you his relative?" _

_Chuck sat up quickly, startling Blair out of her peaceful sleep._

_"I'm his son. Why is he in the hospital?" Chuck questioned, worry seeping out through his voice._

_The Doctor stayed silent for what seemed an eternity. "I suggest you get here as quickly as possible." _

_At that instant Chuck knew, knew his father was gone, or about to leave. Blair saw his face go pale, and his hands tremble. _

_"Chuck?" Blair questioned._

_"My, father … is at the hospital. I have to go." Chuck said, struggling to pull up his pants._

_"Oh my god. Is he okay?" Blair questioned._

_Chuck didn't answer so Blair knew it wasn't good._

_"I'll go wake up Serena and get her to come with us." Blair said, not knowing what to do with Chuck._

…

Blair's breath warming his neck woke him up from his light sleep. He found it hard to sleep with Blair clinging on to him protectively, but he wasn't about to push her away just so he could get a few hours of decent sleep. Her lips were touching his neck softly, causing a weird stirring to erupt inside him.

He tried to talk himself away from it. It was ridiculous, this was Blair Waldorf, bitch of the Upper East Side. She was everything he hated, bottled into one small package of girly evil. She was manipulative, and rude, always a bitch to the Humphrey's. Merely on the fact that they lived in Brooklyn. But she was the one laying on his chest, sleeping on his old bed, with his red football sheets.

Blair's eyes fluttered open, and she suddenly felt embarrassed to be laying on Dan's chest. She backed away from him, her eyes sore, and wide. She looked him down, and could immediately tell what he was thinking about. The same thoughts began to creep I not her own mind, and she tried to get rid of them immediately. She shifted so she was as far away from him as possible without falling off the bed.

He looked her down, his eyes growing dark and hungry. She noticed this, and he saw her shift away from her. This was a mistake. "I can call you a cab." he said absently.

Blair nodded, studying his face. "Yeah, I think that would be best."

Slowly they both walked to the door. He grabbed her jacket and helped her put it on, still avoiding her gaze. As if it would burn him.

They stood in the silence, neither knowing what to say, or how to leave things.

"Are you sure you'll be okay tonight?" Dan asked quietly, keeping his eyes glued to the floor.

Blair hadn't thought of being alone. Of course her mother was away with Cyrus. Some kind of tropical get away. Dortota was off for the weekend, and Serena, well Serena had been practically living at Aaron's.

She sighed. "I don't know."

Dan looked up. "Well, you could sleep in Jenny's room." she looked up at him and he looked away. "Just, you know offering."

Blair nodded. "I'm here anyways, right?"

"Yeah"

They both looked at each other at the same time. Blair's eyes wide, and lost. Dan's confused, and filled with hunger. It had been months. He had been to busy with other things to worry about women, or date's.

She didn't realize how close they were standing, until she felt his breath on her face. He smelled of cheap cologne and after shave, and his hair smelled faintly of some kind of fruity shampoo. Probably Jenny's, she mused. Without thinking he leaned in and touched her lips softly with his own. Surprisingly she didn't pull back but deepened the kiss.

She pulled away. "Would you help me forget, just for one night?" she asked quietly, breathing deeply.

He nodded, and she grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him into her. He sighed. She smelled so good, and tasted even better. The heat from her abdomen could be felt on his stomach, even through his thick sweater. She would be the death of him, he knew it, but he couldn't go back.

They stumbled into the bedroom, Blair falling on top of him. Quickly she pulled off his sweater, and then went for the zipper of his jeans. He slipped off her dress, leaving her only in her bra, and a pair of red tights. She was beautiful, he always knew that. But he was stunned by how amazing she looked with no make-up, and messy hair.

He doesn't remember when her tights were slipped off, and he doesn't remember his pants being taken off. Or how she ended up underneath him, feverishly whispering his name, biting on his bottom lip. All he knew was this moment would never be forgotten no matter how badly they would both want to be rid of it later.

…

_Serena and Blair walked behind Chuck, struggling to keep up as he looked for the doctor that called him. Instead he saw Lily, and quickly walked up to her._

_"Where is my father?" he said quickly, his eyes dark and wide._

_Lily looked past Chuck, and to Serena. She saw her mother's tears and knew it was over. There was no hope, and she truly feared what would happen next._

_"Lily." Chuck demanded again._

_Lily looked down. "I'm so sorry Charles."_

_Blair looked at Chuck, who had now made his way to the ground, so he didn't black out. The blood was rushing to his head, and he felt like he was going to be sick. Blair went over to him, and grabbed onto his hand, refusing to let go._

_Lily made her way to the other side of Chuck, followed by Serena._

_"How?" he questioned._

_"The limo crashed."Lily said, sobbing._

_Blair saw the look on Chuck's face. The immense guilt, because merely hours ago they were making love in his limo. Chuck always found a way to blame himself for the things that happened to the ones he cared for. _

_"Chuck…" Blair said quietly, gripping onto his hand._

_He pushed her away, and walked away from the one person who cared about him most, and never looked back._

…

She woke up in his arms, still completely naked. She eyed Cedric up on the bookshelf. The damn doll had seen everything. She didn't exactly regret the night, but it wasn't the smartest idea. It was the most comfort she had felt in awhile. A night away from the Upper East Side was what she needed.

She wasn't sure if she could ever give up on Chuck. Even after everything that had happened, everything she had seen. Things wouldn't never be the same between them ever again, that's all she knew for sure. She looked up at Dan, things would never be the same between them either.

Slowly, she untangled herself from Dan's arms, and grabbed her discarded clothes from the floor. The only thing she couldn't find was her tights, but she wasn't worried about it either. Quickly she threw her clothes back on, and grabbed a scrap piece of paper. Scribbling some words down for Dan, so he would know she was okay.

She put Cedric down where she had just been sleep, and tucked the note in the dolls arm. She smiled a genuine smile, that almost stinged her cheeks. It had been so long since she actually smiled something real. Her stomach started to flutter but she quickly dismissed it, and grabbed her coat. Heading out of Brooklyn and not taking another look back.

…

Dan woke up to find he was the only one in his bed, he sighed, expecting she would leave in the middle of the night. But some reason he found himself wishing she would have stayed. He found his doll laying in the place she was merely hours ago, and grabbed the note from beside Cedric.

"Thank you for helping me forget. -Blair." Was all it said, in her neat, clean handwriting. He smiled, and stuck the note under his bed, only to find her red tights peaking out. That was all the proof he had of their night together.


	2. What Has Been ForgottenHasNow Resurfaced

-1**Title: What's been forgotten, has now resurfaced.**

**Author : Laura (alwaysbluex/lawrahxxx)**

**Summary : Three months after her night in Brooklyn Blair comes to terms with what has come of her current situation.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own gossip girl.**

**Rating: PG-13. Sexual themes, and drugs.**

**Pairings: Dan/Blair, Chuck/Blair flashbacks.**

**A/N: Some people asked for a sequel, and I'm happy to write one because I really enjoyed writing the last one. Enjoy! Ps. This one as taken a shocking turn. I don't know if I will write more or not. Unless you guys want me to.**

**Review/Comment, let me know what you think. **

**Ps. Italics = flashbacks.**

_  
This was my fate, giving in  
To your lips, To your eyes  
I should have known it would come back to haunt me  
Crooked smile, a reflection in your eyes  
That shows my weakness for Beautiful mistakes  
Something that I know you've seen before  
I'm not the first  
Set the trap, I'm falling for it every time  
I can't believe, everyone knew from the start  
This would come back to haunt me  
Always and Never - Silverstein_

She knew it would come back to haunt her. Though she hoped it would be a over-done gossip girl blast. Or maybe Dan's leering looks in the halls. Even her secret shame of standing near him, or brushing past him. Just for a moment so she could smell his scent one more time. Now that was karma enough. But this, what was happening to her now. Was just cruel, and terrible punishment.

Sitting on the edge of the tub, holding the white stick of torture, she decided a calm approach to the matter would be best. For the next three minutes she chose to think about past mistakes, instead of freaking out about what was to come. Deep down she knew what was about to happen. Her life was about to change for the worst, and she didn't feel like dealing with it, but she had to.

Quietly she sat and thought about all the bad things she had done in the past. The manipulating, social destruction, lying, blackmailing. Oh, the list was quite long. But did she deserve this? She really thought about this hard. No, she didn't. The thought of having Dan Humphrey's spawn made her cringe. How could she be so stupid? She blamed Nate, for everything. If he had just kept his pants zipped up, none of this would have ever happened.

The alarm dinging, and door opening startled her out of her deep, important thoughts. She looked up to see long blonde hair floating through her bathroom. She covered her hand with her mouth tightly, as the bile was threatening to come up again, and chucked the pregnancy test across the room as if it was pure evil that was stinging her. Instantly realizing her mistake she brought her hand away from her mouth. "Oh … shit." she panicked as Serena walked over and picked up the test.

"Oh my god." Serena said slowly, looking at the test.

Her vision became cloudy, and everything suddenly went dark.

…

_Blair knocked on the door, calmly waiting for him to open. She didn't plan to walk in on the display she had witnessed last night. The one that made her run to Brooklyn boy for support. In light of her minor indiscretions last night, she felt more forgiving today, more generous._

_Chuck opened the door slowly. His eyes drooping and bloodshot. "Blair…" he said quietly, not daring to meet her eyes._

_Blair smiled. "Good morning Chuck. Time for school." she said, pulling out behind her back a crisply ironed school uniform. _

_Chuck almost laughed, almost. But he didn't have the energy for it. "Your kidding."_

_She shook her head, still smiling that fake smile. "I'm actually quite serious Chuck." she pushed her way through the door, her nose instantly wrinkled at the smell of the place. It smelled like a Brooklyn Bar laced with cheap perfume._

_"I know it's been difficult…" _

_Chuck interrupted. "I don't want to hear it." _

_"You need to stop avoiding me. I care about you." _

_"I don't understand why you would." Chuck retorted._

_Blair sighed. "Because we both enjoy hurting each other. But it hurts me to know that you're hurting, and there's nothing I can do to stop it."_

_"Blair…"_

_Blair shook her head, pushing the school uniform towards him. "Chuck, just try. Please."_

_Damnit, he looked into her eyes. Her big sad doe eyes, that made him forget why, or what was making him feel like drowning him self in drugs, alcohol, and high class call girls. He didn't say anything, but instead drowned himself in the last drink of scotch he had left and made his way to the bathroom._

…

They both sat silently on her bed. The test in-between them, as if it was some insivble force field keeping them apart. Blair had a cool wash cloth pressed to her forehead after fainting and hitting the cold tiled floors. Which left a beautiful red imprint on her cheek. Blair couldn't think, couldn't talk. She didn't want to. What she wanted is time to stop, and for her to have Chuck back. This mess was too big, and she didn't know how to fix it this time.

"Is it Chuck's?" Serena asked timidly amongst all the silence.

Blair shifted uncomfortably. "Yes." she said quickly, assuring Serena.

"Well, he does seem a bit better lately B." she started, putting an arm on her shoulder. "I'm sure he will be a little scared, but what guy wouldn't be, you know?"

Blair didn't notice she had begun to cry until Serena came over and hugged her. "Oh, B. It's all going to be okay. I'm here for you. No matter what."

Blair held back a bitter laugh. Would she really be if she knew whose child she was really pregnant with?

…

_Blair had finally got Chuck out of the suite with some time to spare. Nate had come to help convince Chuck to actually come to school. Somehow both boys had ended up blazed, leaving a scoffing Blair speeding ahead of them. The cold wind hitting her in the face._

_"You guys stink!" she exclaimed loudly, the wind causing her hair to whip in her face. The boys started giggling, this frustrated Blair further._

_"You sound like a bunch of school girls! Shut up." she turned around and grabbed some perfume from her purse, and begun spraying it around the boys._

_"Ew, it stinks!" Nate exclaimed, whipping his hands around the perfume._

_"B! You're here! I couldn't get a hold of you last night. Where were you?" Serena asked, trailing up behind Blair._

_Blair spun around and smiled sweetly. "I went to go check on Chuck." she whispered, so only Serena could hear._

_Serena nodded. "How is he doing?" _

_Blair turned around, and looking at the boys who were still laughing at nothing. "He would only come if he was medicated." _

_Serena shrugged, as if she understood completely._

_…_

Blair laid on her bed, hand on stomach, and phone in hand. Without putting much thought into what she was doing she pressed "Cabbage Patch." and slowly put her ear to the receiver. He wasn't answering, of course he wasn't. They had both avoided each other like the plague for the past few months. Though, she always caught him starring at her from across the room. She'll admit, she did it sometimes too.

Dan's voice snapped her out of her rambling thoughts.

"Blair?" Dan questioned quietly. She heard a door close, and a lock being locked on the other side of the phone.

She pursed her lips. "Dan, we need to talk."

"Well, …we are right now aren't we?"

"Don't be such a smart ass. I need you to be here as quickly as possible."

Dan stayed silent for a few seconds. "What would you need me for?"

Blair scoffed. "Now is not the time to ask questions. Just get here. It's important." She snapped the phone shut before she could blurt anything more out.

Blair paced the perimeter of her bedroom. Partly because she was anxious, but mostly because she shouldn't have ate that croissant this morning. She could feel it melting onto her thighs. Maybe all the throwing up this afternoon got rid of it though. Why must they name is morning sickness when it's all fucking day long? She huffed.

Dan knocked lightly on the door, startling Blair. "Did I interrupt?"

"Well, yes. Don't you always?" Blair said, with a sickeningly sweet smile.

"I didn't come over here to be insulted. Frankly, I'm surprised I even came, we haven't spoken in - "

"I'm pregnant." Blair blurted out, taking a seat on the floor, so she wouldn't faint and hit her head again.

…

_Blair kept her head down while she walked along the edge of the hallway. Usually her head was held high for everyone to see, and the strutted dead center, middle of the hallway. But today her thoughts consumed her. She didn't know what was worse, that she had slept with Dan Humphrey, or that she enjoyed it. Both were equally disturbing._

_"Blair.." someone in front on her said quietly._

_She looked up just in time to see Dan Humphrey. Face to face, his breath on her skin. Her scent invading his nose. Her cheeks went hot, and his hands felt jittery._

_"Hi." he said quietly._

_"We can't do this." Blair said quickly._

_Dan shifted away from her. "Do what?" _

_"This, be kind and friendly to each other. Someone will know something is up."_

_Dan felt his stomach drop, and quickly became defensive. "Nothing is up Blair. You needed an escape, and I just needed … someone. It was wrong, but I'm sure we can both move past it."_

_"…pretend it never happened." Blair interrupted. "Gladly."_

_Dan nodded. "Bye Waldorf." _

_"Bye Cabbage Patch." Blair muttered, heading quickly for her locker._

…

Dan's feet stayed planted near the frame of her door, while Blair sat on the floor, staring at the wall ahead. She didn't know why she had blurted it out. It was like evil pouring out of her mouth. The evil was the change that was about to come. Just the thought of the look on people's faces when they heard made her want to cry and throw things. It was going to be horrible.

"I have no idea what to say." Dan admitted, shifting slowly from side to side.

"I don't either." Blair choked out, her throat feeling dry and sore.

Dan took a seat next to her slowly. "How?"

"Are you serious?"

He sighed. "You know what I mean Blair. I just, … "

"… I know." Blair said, shutting her eyes tightly.

Dan put his head in his hands, and closed his eyes tightly. Maybe it was all one bad dream. Having a baby with Serena terrified him, but Blair? His ears were ringing and his heart felt if it was about to break free out of his chest and run away on him.

"What are we going to do?" he asked, eyes still closed.

Blair opened her eyes slightly, seeing his gaze would not be on her she relaxed a bit. "Maybe I should have an abortion." Blair said quietly, her hands in her lap.

Dan immediately looked up at her, and she bowed her head. "What?"

Blair huffed, and stood up. "Dan, do you have an idea how bad this would be if it got out? If Serena and Chuck found out? Chuck's just starting to get his life back together again, and just starting to be himself around me. If he finds this out, he'll hate me forever."

"Yes, but-"

"Have you thought of Serena? She's your ex, and I know you still have feelings for her." Blair interrupted.

"That's not true." Dan mumbled.

"It's not? I always see you and your creeping eyes taking looks at Serena. I know you miss her."

"Of course I miss her sometimes Blair. I loved her, but it doesn't mean I still have feelings for her." Dan retorted, raising his voice at the end.

Tears welled in her eyes. "I have to do it Dan. I just have to."

Dan immediately softened, his eyes growing wide. "I know you don't want this Blair. But I don't know how I feel about getting rid of something that could potentially be mine."

"…..potentially?"

"Couldn't it possibly be Chuck's?"

Blair shook her head. Tears still spilling from her puffy eyes. "We used a condom, and it was months ago I last slept with him."

Dan looked down. "…And we didn't."

"To caught in the moment I guess." Blair finished.

"No matter what we do, it's going to hurt somebody." Dan said quietly.

…

_Blair sat on her bed, lap top perched on her crossed legs, a blank file open. She was supposed to be working on homework. But her thoughts had suddenly consumed her and she wasn't able to find a way out of them. It went back and forth between Chuck and Dan like a ping-pong board. Thoughts of Chuck and his recent self saddened her, while thoughts of Dan comforted her. She almost called him a couple times. But really, what would she say to him? They agreed to stay away from each other from here on out._

_"Blair?" a voice came from the other side of her door. _

_She rid herself from her thoughts. "Come in." _

_Chuck slowly opened the door, his hand gripping tightly on the handle, as if it was the only thing keeping him from running away._

_Blair noticed how fidgety he was and tried to lighten the mood a bit. "Bass?" she said, raising an eyebrow. "You never knock on my door, even when uninvited." _

_Chuck tried to smile but fail. _

_"I just wanted to apologize." Chuck said quietly. "which as you know, is a hard thing for me to do."_

_Blair shook her head. "Please don't, Chuck. I can't even begin to understand what you're going through." _

_Chuck sighed. "But I wish I could." she said quietly._

_He walked over, and sat on the edge of her bad. "Women, alcohol, and drugs is the only way I cope. But you mean so much to me Blair." _

_"I'll wait Chuck." _

_Chuck nodded. "Thank you Blair." _

_"I think you would do the same for me." _

_He shook his head, a bitter chuckle escaping from within his throat. "No I wouldn't." _

_Blair looked taken aback, and her eyes immediately darted away from grabbed her hand. "If you were going through this. I would force my way in, and never leave you alone. But for me, I need to be alone. To sort out my thoughts. I appreciate you trying to help me. I really do. I'd just rather do it alone."_

_"Too much pride?" Blair offered._

"_Something like that."_

…

Dan and Blair spent the night discussing everything, and leaving no topic untouched. The conversation rarely went to the baby, as they both knew what was going to happen. They ended up falling asleep around midnight. Their breathing in rhythm with each others. Both had troubled dreams, because the days ahead would not be easy. No matter what they did, their lives had changed forever.


	3. The Truth is Spilling Out of Control

-1**Title: The Truth is spilling out of control.**

**Author : Laura (alwaysbluex/lawrahxxx)**

**Summary : A month after Blair finds out she is pregnant. How will everyone react when they find out? Most importantly, what are they going to do with the baby?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own gossip girl.**

**Rating: PG-13. Sexual themes, underage drinking and drugs.**

**Pairings: Dan/Blair, angst-y Chuck/Blair.**

**A/N: Obviously it's AU, as it always has been. I mean Dan and Blair are having a baby, that's never going to happen on the show. More to come, if you guys want of course. :] **

**Review/Comment, let me know what you think. whats been forgotten h as now resurfaced**

_spent most of last night dragging this lake  
for the corpses of all my past mistakes  
empty another bottle  
and let me tear you to pieces  
this is me wishing you  
into the worst situations  
I'm the kind of kid  
that can't let anything go  
but you wouldn't know a good thing  
if it came up and slit your throat_

_Your remorse hasn't fallen on deaf ears  
rather ones that just don't care  
cause I know  
that you're in between arms somewhere  
next to heartbeats  
where you shouldn't dare sleep  
Now I'll teach you a lesson  
for keeping secrets from me  
My Heart is the Worst Kind Of Weapon - Fall Out Boy  
_

Blair sighed contently, scrapping the last spoonful of chocolate chip ice cream out of the container. The sticky substance ran down her fingers at a fast pace. Usually she would have been disgusted. But her eyes sparkled as she licked off what was left from her messy fingers. Serena sat beside her perched on the bed pouting. "I was going to have the last bit."

Blair looked over and smirked. "Beat you to it."

Serena laughed and nodded. "I'll just go get some more."

"Cookies and cream?" Blair asked sweetly. Serena spun around, and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm craving ice cream." she shrugged nonchalantly, handing the empty container back to Serena.

"Fine." Serena said, playfully rolling her eyes.

She watched Serena walk out of her room, her face instantly fell when she was out of sight. She had known she was pregnant for exactly one month. Over that time she hadn't managed to slip out the fact Dan was the father of her baby. They both agreed not to tell anyone about that part, since Blair has decided she was giving the baby up for adoption anyways. When everyone found out they would assume it was Chuck's. At least that's what they were hoping for.

Blair thought over this plan they devised, and suddenly didn't feel secure about the whole thing. Actually, she never once trusted this plan, stupid Humphrey talking her into it while she sobbed on about her life being ruined. They were idiots, complete and utter idiots to think they could pull this off. She knew once Chuck found out she was pregnant the whole thing would be shot to hell. Because he knew perfectly well she couldn't possibly be carrying his child. It was near impossible.

Suddenly tears started to well up in the corner of her eyes, frustrating her. She tried so hard not to cry over everything that had happened. How her life was crumbling around her and she had no way to fix it. The future used to excite her, now it left her in shock. If was like a deep dark hole, it was impossible to know where she was going.

"Oh, B." Serena said, climbing back onto the bed and embracing her in a tight hug. "Hormones?" she questioned, with a smile on her face.

Blair rolled her eyes. "Stop it. I don't want someone to hear you."

Serena shook her head. "You still haven't told Chuck?" B -"

"I can't." she said quickly, interrupting Serena. "I just … can't."

"He's going to find out eventually…"

"Maybe not." Blair muttered, smoothing a non-existent wrinkle on her school uniform. Serena looked at her brunette friend with a questioning look, a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

Blair sighed. "I think I might go to France, with Daddy. Until the baby is born."

"No." Serena said quickly, shaking her head.

"It's not really up to you." Blair spat, suddenly annoyed by her best friend.

"You can't Blair, I need to help you through this. Chuck needs to help you through this." Serena exclaimed.

"Help you through what?" Chuck's voice echoed from the door way.

Blair and Serena both dropped their spoons, the only sound heard was the clanking it made with the glass dish.

…

Dan sighed, shoving his notebooks in his book bag. He couldn't concentrate, no matter what he did. Nor could he write a half-decent story. The secret was eating at him, slowly but surely. If he didn't confide in someone soon he was going to explode, and maybe jump off the roof of the art gallery. It would be a beautiful piece for Aaron to paint. Tortured lonely boy commits suicide because of the demons in his head, oh and the fact Blair Waldorf was carrying his child. What a lovely work of art it would be.

"Earth to Dan?" Jenny said, waving her hand in front of his face, her metal bracelets hitting each other and echoing through Dan's ears, causing his head to throb.

"What Jen?"

Jenny shrugged. "You look very…"

"Tortured."

She nodded and pointed a finger at him. "That's the word."

Dan sighed, resting his head in his hands.

Jenny munched on her cheerios, wondering what was going on with Dan.

"What's going on with you?" she said quickly, shoving his left hand off the table.

"I have a friend."

Jenny interrupted. "Funny, Dan."

Dan glared at her, and she laughed a little. "Go on…"

"Well he's in trouble."

"My advice always helps." Jenny nodded, finishing the remainder of her breakfast.

"He slept with this girl he absolutely hates."

"Why would he do that?" she interrupted, washing her bowl out in the sink.

Dan huffed. "I - I mean he was helping her out, and maybe he needed it too."

Jenny turned around and raised her eyebrows. "So what's the problem?"

"He uh, he got her pregnant…." Dan mumbled.

Jenny's eyes went wide and the wet slippery bowl dropped beneath her finger tips landing with a loud crashing sound.

"Oh my god."

"Oh my god." Dan repeated, his head leaning against the cool table.

…

Serena looked at Blair thoughtfully, while Blair glared Serena down. Her eyes dark and cold.

"You have to tell him now B." Serena said softly, keeping at a distance from her furious friend.

"Tell me what?" Chuck questioned, advancing further towards Blair.

Serena looked between the two of them nervously. "I'll just, go for a walk while you two … talk."

"Blair what's going on?" Chuck asked never taking his eyes away from hers.

She shook her head slowly. "What I'm about to tell you, well you're going to hate me for it. But you were in such a dark place, and I was lonely."

"So, you slept with someone else." Chuck asked, fully knowing the answer.

"I think that's fair Blair. I wasn't ever sober, and women I didn't even know were in my bed 24/7." he said, looking down.

Slowly he had gotten over feeling sorry for himself, and started becoming the smarmy Chuck Bass they all, well… tolerated. He still had his off days where he almost drank himself into a coma. But it was slowly getting better. Blair felt so guilty for sleeping with Dan, but really she had no reason to.

"That's not all." she said slowly, watching the tears hit Serena's comforter.

"Then what?" Chuck said, trying not to become angry.

Blair looked up at him. "I'm pregnant."

"What?" Chuck spat.

"I didn't mean for it to happen." Blair retorted, suddenly becoming defensive.

"Whose is it?" Chuck said, his voice becoming harder with each word.

"Chuck…"

He looked at her, glaring hard. "Who?"

"Serena thinks it's yours, and she's the only one who knows."

"What? Why."

"I'm not ready for people to know. Okay?"

Chuck stopped pacing the room. "It's Nathaniel's isn't it?"

"Are you kidding?!" Blair spat, her fists clenching.

"I saw you two getting chummy, while I was going through hell."

Blair got up and slapped him hard across the cheek. The sound echoed off the walls, and a red mark the size of Blair's petite hand instantly stained his cheek red.

"How dare you?" Blair questioned, angry tears in her eyes.

Chuck looked at her with no emotion. "You've done it before. Why not do it again?"

Blair shook her head. "Why did I ever bother with you?"

The words left a pang in Chuck's stomach, making him want to drown his feelings in alcohol once again.

He looked her in the eyes, no emotion on his face. "We thought we were able to change, but neither of us can."

Tears streamed down Blair's face as she made a dash for the exit, without so much as a goodbye. She even left her phone and coat behind without thinking. All she had was a few bills in her pocket.

Chuck watched her go, a lump forming in his stomach. Blair plus and unborn child that wasn't his own made him feel sick. He wanted Blair for himself, and no one else. The thought of another person being with her made him nauseous. But the thought that she was now connected forever with another human being made him jealous, and angry. So angry that he needed a couple drinks, and a few desperate women to rid him of this thoughts.

…

"Dan?" Jenny questioned after a minute of dead silence. Dan cringed as he knew his sister had found out who he was actually talking about.

"Who did you get pregnant?" Jenny questioned, not believing the words coming out of her mouth.

"Please don't ask me that." Dan groaned, getting up from the stool, only to go lay on the couch. He shut his eyes tightly, hoping this would all go away.

Jenny sighed and bent down picking up the pieces of the shattered glass bowl. When she had gotten rid of the shards of glass she walked over to Dan and took a seat on the floor beside him.

"I'm your sister. Maybe I could help if you told me everything."

"Everything?" Dan questioned with disgust.

Jenny shook her head. "Ew, no. Skip that part."

"I- " he went to say, but was interrupted by a loud pang at the door.

Jenny huffed. "I'll get it." Quickly she got up and sprinted to the door.

"Dan I can't do - … JENNY." Blair yelled, shutting her mouth instantly realizing she was not talking to Dan, but to Jenny. Little J, the one who spilled to Nate about her and Chuck. Blair suddenly went into her usual bitch mode.

"Your brother has something of mine that I want." Blair spat, rolling her eyes and pushing past Jenny.

Dan sat up at the sound of Blair's voice as she trailed over to him. Her eyes red and puffy. "Well, let's go cabbage patch. I don't have all day." Blair scoffed, her eyes telling a different story. Dan looked between a confused Jenny, and an equally confused Blair.

"Oh, yes. Well, that … thing you need. It's in my bedroom. Come on." Dan said quickly.

Jenny watched Blair walk in step with Dan to his bedroom. The minute the door closed she heard it lock. She was still wondering why Blair was in her house, without Serena, talking to Dan. It all seemed a little weird and very out of the ordinary. _"He slept with this girl he absolutely hates." _

The words still rang in her ears, as who was pregnant became clear. Jenny looked at the shut door, her mouth hung open, her feet glued to the ground. All she could do was let out a loud squealing sound that send both teenagers running out of Dan's bedroom.

…

"Chuck, open up." Serena said, panging loudly on his door. A few seconds later Chuck opened his door slightly, his once crisp white shirt wrinkled and un-done, his pants completely missing. The smell of alcohol was evident on his breath.

Serena wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Uh, where's Blair?"

"She left." Chuck spat, walking back towards his bed.

Serena pushed the door opened, and walked in. Alcohol and the smell of weed instantly invading her nose. There were empty alcohol bottles scattered everywhere, the sound of the shower running, which she could only assume contained a few high class call girls.

"Chuck, what the hell happened?" Serena spat, walking up and hitting him over the head with her hand.

"Blair's pregnant!" Chuck yelled, his fist hitting the wall hardly.

Serena's eye's widened. "I know, Chuck. She was terrified to tell you because she didn't know how you would react. I see I shouldn't have left you alone with her." Serena said, her voice laced with nothing but disgust. "You know your self destruction isn't just hurting you, but everyone else, especially Blair."

"It isn't mine Serena." Chuck said slowly.

"Yes it is, Chuck. She told me it was." Serena said slowly, not believing what she was hearing.

Chuck looked up at Serena and glared at her. "It's impossible Serena, literally."

"What …? "

"Do I have to spell it out for you? We haven't had sex in months, and when we did, it's just. Impossible Serena. She even admitted she knew it wasn't mine."

"Then who could it be? …" Serena asked, her mind skimming around for anything odd that standed out these past few months.

"Maybe it was dear Nathaniel." Chuck spat, taking a hearty drink from his glass.

….

"Jenny, what's wrong?" Dan said quickly, his arm on Blair's back.

Quickly Jenny shut her gaping open mouth, and gave a tight smile. "N-nothing. I just, uh, I Just. … I forgot I was meeting Vanessa at the gallery. Movie night, you know."

Blair narrowed her eyes at Jenny, as if telling her. "You tell her I'm here, I'll kill you."

Jenny gulped, and fled the apartment. She defiantly got the memo.

Blair turned to Dan, her eyes now wide and sad. "I can't do this Dan."

Dan nodded, his hand still resting on her back. As a sign of comfort, and letting her know he's willing to help her.

"Chuck knows." she said in a dull whisper, her eyes still on his.

"Blair, I know this is hard for you. If you can't go through with it, you can still get an abortion. I won't think any less of you."

A bitter laugh escaped her glossed lips. "It's not that. Just as much of a bitch as I am. I couldn't get rid of another human's life. After all, it is my fault."

"Our fault." Dan pointed out, his hands now stuff in his pockets.

She sighed, her hand unintentionally resting on the slight bump that her stomach now was. "I didn't mean I can't go through with having the baby."

Dan looked at her, his eyes studying her, waiting for the next words to come out of her mouth.  
She sighed. "I mean, I can't give up something that is mine. I never could, Nor would I ever be able too."

Dan laughed at this, and soon Blair joined in, tears escaping her eyes.

"You want to stay here tonight?" Dan offered.

Blair sighed. "Yeah, I don't really know what to do. The Upper East side is about to find out I slept with, well … Brooklyn.

He rolled his yes. "Good to know you have a little bit of humour left in you.

"Yeah, I never had any to begin with. You're making me pathetic Humphrey.

Dan nodded, smiling as Blair plopped on the couch, controller already in hand, flipping throughout all the channels.

Blair looked over at Dan and glared. "Stop starring it's rude."

He rolled his eyes. "I apologize, Waldorf."

…

A/N: so this will be a multi-chapter fic from now on. I'll probably update every weekend, possibly more during Christmas break. Please let me know what you think! I appreciate everyone who reads and reviews my stories.


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